Dedicated To My Sweet P
Do you realize how much I love you?
Some people spend their whole life looking for that someone who can fill not only the missing peices in their heart, but also the loneliness their soul feels as well. Some people never find that person at all. It may have taken a third of my life, but I found that person in you!
I've seen some pretty bad stuff when it comes to relationships, and it's made it hard for me to trust or to believe that anyone could be as good to me as you are. Nevertheless, you have kept returning, even during the times that others would have left me.
When you are near me, it seems as though I can't tell you enough how much I love you! When I hug you, it's like I can't bring you close enough. When you smile or laugh, I feel like I have finally done something to make you happy!
It's not often that two people can have so much in common. I'm not sure if there's such a thing as soul mates, but I do know there can be 'perfect love', otherwise how would some people be able to be together for 40, 50 or 60 years? I don't think anyone would want to be with me for more than 20, so anything above that is probably asking too much. I'd just like to have someone to stay with me longer than 2 years!
I don't know what will happen to us in the next 6 months, much less in the next few years, but I would like to think I could make you happy enough to want to be with me for a long time. Even so, I would do anything for you, and that leaves nothing out. Even if it means I have to let you go so you can make what you already have work. It would hurt, and it would be very hard to do, but when I say I would do anything for you, that means ANYTHING!
Not a minute goes by without thinking about you. No matter how much I try to convince myself it's not possible, I often dream of a future with you. I dream of greeting you at the door when you come home from a long day at work, making you nice dinners (sometimes even by candlelight!), or just giving you backrubs while we watch tv. Ok, so maybe I watch too much tv. I'll never be a June Cleaver, and it's all a dream anyway. I've never had dreams of any man like this before!!
I know I'm emotional and confused and don't always treat you as good as I know I can. My life seems pretty grim and hopeless at the moment, except for the few moments I get to spend with you. You are a sweet, loving and gentle man, and you deserve so much better, even better than me. My biggest hope is that you remain as patient with me as you have been while I figure out what to do. If you can't, I understand.
I love you with all my heart, mind body and soul Sweet P. I want you with me forever and always, but if I can't get that long, I hope I can at least keep you around for a long, LONG time!!